Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize