I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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