he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize