Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've created a new STD.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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