have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize