It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize