I showed him my bush... on skype.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize