remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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