is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
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It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
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somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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