remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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