I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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