i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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