Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize