the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
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You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
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I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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