I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
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Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
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At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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