The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
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Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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