using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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