I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i out mim tonsoeep
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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