Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize