Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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