It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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