I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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