This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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