my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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