good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
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When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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