Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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