I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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