haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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