Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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