she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize