I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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