This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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