Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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