Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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