marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
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He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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