God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize