i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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