You work out of a Hotel?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
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you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
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My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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