Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize