what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
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Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
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Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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