I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
honey bunches of taint.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize