I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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