You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize