she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
and you fell through a lawn chair
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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