How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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