They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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