he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Randomize