is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize