Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.Â
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize