If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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