I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
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Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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